June 19, 2011

Chorizo con Huevo Bolillos

Yeah, I know the name of my blog is PattiCakes.
But sometimes I like to eat real food. 
Really greasy, spicy, heartburn-inducing food...for breakfast.

And by breakfast, I mean like, no earlier than noon.
And by greasy I mean like, Chorizo & egg stuffed bolillos.

Don't judge me.

Now listen.
I know this is L.A. & I should be working out or eating a piece of lettuce with a deep look of emaciation in my eyes, but forget that.

I think Bart Simpson put it best when he said, "You don't win friends with salad".

So here it is. 
My dirty little breakfast secret.
But honestly, aren't those really the best kind of secrets to have??

Let me give you the low down on this meal. It's forgiving and the perfect thing for poor students on a budget. You can add or delete any ingredients that you want.  

For instance, I would usually use white onion but since I hadn't gone to the market in weeks, I used green onion because, well, frankly, it was all I had. 

I also like jalapenos.  
In everything.
Y'know, I'm no doctor, but that is probably the reason why my esophagus is on fire & I pop Tums like candy.

I'm SO not an egg person but mix it with other foods, like (surprise) jalapenos & spicy meat & BAM
I'm a fan of huevos...
Um...I won't go there, but yeah....

Now THIS is where I draw the line at substitutions. 
There is nothing like a good Mexican cheese when making this meal.  
This is queso fresco. 
I got it at the 99 cent store, so no excuses people. 
Life is too short to eat crap cheese.

The sizzle chorizo makes in the pan is like angels singing...big fatty angels with high cholesterol.
Ahhh....music to my ears.

I had to put this picture on here because I've never seen an avocado with such a monster pit in it. 
What kind of genetic mutation had to happen for this monster to develop? 
You may be asking, "Should you be eating this"?
Um, did I mention I'm poor? 
I ate the hell out of this monster...and that little mutant was GOOD.

Tear a hole in the bolillo just big enough to make a "pocket" and you are ready to fill it!

Line the inside of the bolillo with avocado and cheese. It's not a pretty sight...but who cares? 
We all know you aren't going to turn down goodness because it's messy. 

Now stuff that ugly little sucker with your egg/chorizo mixture, pour some salsa on it, & plan on attending church on Sunday because you about to eat sin in a bun.

Where's the recipe you may ask? 
Well, I don't know. 
It lives somewhere in my head between the recipe for fudge and the combination to my middle school locker.
So I'm going to give you the recipe the way it was given to me. 
Latino style.
We don't use cups and teaspoons. 
We measure things in relation to the package it comes in, cook it until it smells done, and taste it to know how much more salt to add.
It's how we roll.
I'll try my best to provide measurements where possible, but really, you can't mess this up.

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June 10, 2011

Red Velvet Mini Cupcakes with Smooth Cream Cheese Frosting

Red Velvet seems to be all the rage these days.
I like them because they are incognito chocolate cakes.
Sneaky little goodies.

That being said: I've got a bone to pick with these cupcakes.
I don't really make mini cupcakes because, well, I'm not really sure what to do with them.

I'm unsure how to frost them.  
Their baking time makes me nervous.  
They give me the stink eye when I transport them across town and threaten me with tipping over every time I make a turn.
Mini cupcakes have attitude and I don't appreciate it.  
But those little things are so darn cute...and I give in and they win.
Every. Time.

So now that I have admitted defeat, I can start talking about more important things.

For instance, the fact that I may just be in love with my new camera. 
Waaaay better than a camera phone!!

I think this works...but I need more... 

Ahhh...there ya go...now that's what I'm talking about...

 Wait, wait right there. What's this?? Oh. It's awesome. That's what. 
Y'know. No big whoop.

In My Kitchen:

Ha Ha. Enjoy!!

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June 2, 2011

Vanilla Cupcakes topped with Champagne Buttercream Frosting and Dipped Chocolate Strawberries

I know I have been talking up these boozy cupcakes, so now I'm here to back it up with some photographic evidence.

My very first PAID order!!
I feel like I'm too legit.
Too legit to quit.
Hey Hey.
You know, I can do the Hammer Dance pretty gosh darn well. Thought you'd like to know.

Anyways, back to the matter at hand...
These cupcakes were both a tremendous fail and a wonderfully awesome surprise.
This is how it started out...pretty regular baking adventure...except for the empty bottle of wine and the Chimichurri I have fermenting in the background :)

And that's when things started to go sooooo wrong!

I put too much booze in the frosting. The frosting got watery.
I tried to wrap a bow around the cupcakes.  The bow fell off.
I tried to put them in an extra cupcake wrapper to make them look prettier.  They didn't fit in the box.
I tried to pipe a rose with the buttercream.  The rose fell over due to the excess booze.
My boyfriend tried to console me because they just weren't what I had envisioned in my mind. I used my favorite cuss word as a verb.

I had all but given up....but why give up when you can kick butt?

So I added more sugar, refrigerated my frosting, shut the heck up and stopped complaining, piped some awesome swirls, & topped it all off with some exceptionally beautiful strawberries in Ghiradelli milk & white vanilla bean chocolate.

The final product.

So after apologizing for my verbage, I thanked my right hand man and handed over the goods to the happy customer.

If anything, this has taught me to:
1) Not wait until the last moment.
2) Improvise. Not complain.
3) Not be a jerk to the ones who support me.

Ah, life lessons.
I hate you.
You are usually right.

Wanna make your own boozy cupcakes?? Who doesn't?!

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